Shark Night 3D (2011)

A bunch of kids go out onto an Island out on the middle of lake to spend their vacation partying in the isolated lake house, before unexpected things begin to happen.

“Well, I say unexpected but only for them, I mean the film is called Shark Night.

Directed by David R.Ellis, who directed such gems as The Final Destination, Snakes on a Plane and Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco.

I’just want to say that I am a big fan of Shark Movies, I’m not saying there all great, everybody can acknowledge that ‘Malibu Shark Attack’ and ‘Spring Break Shark Attack’ are both awful but ‘Shark Attack 3: Megalodon’ is at least laughably bad. However this is a heck of a lot closer to ‘Mega Shark versus Giant Octopus’ than it is to ‘Jaws’.

So to say that is rubbish, just wouldn’t be enough.

It’s pretty much ‘Friday the 13th’ with sharks crossed with ‘Deliverance’. But not as good as that combination sounds. Spoiler Alert, but not really because it’s hinted at in the trailer. It is revealed that it is in fact hillbillies that put the sharks in the lake, and they put them there, so they could film the sharks eat people and get off on re-watching the videos.

The biggest problem though is that, none of the characters are likable at all, I would have happily seen every single character die. But because the hillbillies enjoy seeing the sharks eat people, a character would actually benefit for every one dying and that’s just rubbish.

I should probably explain why none of the characters are likable. Well the hillbillies are pretty self explanatory and there so full of hillbilly cliches that it’s impossible not to care. But its the six or so kids that are actually on the island. They are just so crude, vile dis-likable bunch of stuck up brats that you could ever see. Which would have been fine, had the sharks been killing people quicker. But you have to put up with these horrible bunch for a good 45 minutes before any one even gets hurt, but then, of course, they make a big deal about him losing his arm, but you really don’t care. Having said that however, Donal Logue is actually likable but then shock horror he’s a hillbilly too. The only truly likable character is the dog. But that’s probably just because he’s a dog.

The CGI as well, is poor. It’s the straight to DVD type stuff. Probably why they chose to set most of the film at night. To try and hope that we don’t notice how bad it is.

It’s one redeeming feature I’d say is the Jet Ski Jump death about an hour in, that was good and that is what the entire film could have been like, but, no. Very little Shark action surprisingly, when I was expecting it every 5 minutes.

Also within the opening credits and part of the final credits they show footage of real sharks swimming about and in both the opening credits and the final credits, is footage from ‘Deep Blue Sea’, and that was just a sweat reminder of how, a film about a group of people isolated in the middle of nowhere surrounded by sharks can be”

F.O.T.M.

A rubbish film that just so happens to have sharks in it.

Best Line in the Film: Donal Logue’s monologue about Morgan Freeman doing the narration to everybody being eaten alive by the sharks just like in March of the Penguins is fairly good.

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